Journey through the River

i Waking

Heart brittle at dawn’s river of loss

Frozen rafts of memory breaking off,

flotsam on morning sand

fragments grieving their fragmented home,

longing to be home

to be home.

ii Clamouring

Choices screaming calling me

through cold currents of thought

Visceral voices in my head

Asking me;

Were you asleep

when wading these waters you thought you had crossed,

you so long to cross?

iii. Searching

Slippery footholds fumble underwater wintry waves

Struggling to hold on;

Searching to remember

Which way to go?

Where will I find home?

Why can’t I find the other side,

reach the other side?

iv. Listening

In the wet watery half-grave

arising stream surrounding,

All thoughts pause,

no telling why;

And in the morning glow

I see the silver wings flipper-flap

their silent presence over me –

the river’s gift to me undeserved;

And hear their voices above the din of mine,

singing their timeless song;

A calm river reflects the rising sun….

reflects the rising sun.

v. Silence

And with long-slowing-struggling breaths,

I come to rest at last

Reaching home;

My shivering silence

rising and falling on now-milder tides

As the silence points the way,

the silence points the way.

vi. Surrendering

And as the boundaries disappear

and the rising river finds her level in me

the struggle dissipates:

Breath, river, air, me, the rising sun, no lines, no loss, no fretful wanting

no age-old longing

All becomes one – all is one

It is all one.

vii. Emerging

And so, beyond those drowning

waves I thought would be my end

I catch a glimpse – the journey’s reward

Where, unencumbered

by ego’s wounded shouts and cries of pain

a fragile unfolding self breaks free

and beyond the water’s glassy top

I find at last

one whose holding me

The One whose always been

holding me.

chris ahrends – sept 2012

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About chrisahrends

For me, writing is a healing art aimed at healing me - and if in any way it resonates with you - that would be wonderful. I live in Cape Town, South Africa; work in the Anglican Church of Southern Africa and am married to Jacqui Macqueen Ahrends.
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One Response to Journey through the River

  1. Poetry Enthusiast says:

    Thank you for sharing the insightful poetry with many interesting dimensions. God Bless. – Poetry Enthusiast

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